It's vacation time, one day at a time...
Today was supposed to be my dear friend's exciting day for her new book to be picked up, instead, her son is ill, and needs her support. She and I were getting ready to go to Austin to pick up the books from the publisher. I was dreading it because of the rains we had here yesterday, but I was determined to be supportive to her, because she is such as good friend.
She brought her dog to me to take care of while she is gone, so I decided to wait and not make the trip alone, besides it's hard having three dogs in the house, and having them get used to each other again.
So I decided to treat myself to the Jewelry Show, it only comes here three to four times a year and it's better than candy! I think my beading days may be subsiding, I didn't even buy any new beads, instead I got a Mystic Topaz ring and a few other things. I have free tickets to go back, but I probably shouldn't as it is so easy to buy things I don't teally need and spend too much money.
I really hope I can get myself in the mindset to clean up my house, it is such a mess, and makes me so ashamed, and as a result I won't let people come in. It has been going on like this now for quite a while. I try to blame my brother's death on it, because I freaked out three weeks after he died (he died from alcoholism at age 34), I tried to have a large crowd come to my house on Thanksgiving. I made two turkeys, and a duck, and all the trimmings. I was exhausted emotionally and physically, and when MaryE. asked me to say a blessing, I burst into tears, ran out of the house, and I don't remember entertaining much after that. That was nine years ago.
That's ridiculous, but I feel stuck. I'm just going to have to take baby steps, and try to change, afterall in so many ways my life is so much better, I love my job, I have 13 years in recovery, I lost 40lbs this year, and my diabetes went into remission pretty much(though I'm gaining now, about 10 lbs back, YIKE, what am I d0ing?) It's vacation time, one day at a time...more to be revealed...life is good...sometimes life hurts...think about the good things.
She brought her dog to me to take care of while she is gone, so I decided to wait and not make the trip alone, besides it's hard having three dogs in the house, and having them get used to each other again.
So I decided to treat myself to the Jewelry Show, it only comes here three to four times a year and it's better than candy! I think my beading days may be subsiding, I didn't even buy any new beads, instead I got a Mystic Topaz ring and a few other things. I have free tickets to go back, but I probably shouldn't as it is so easy to buy things I don't teally need and spend too much money.
I really hope I can get myself in the mindset to clean up my house, it is such a mess, and makes me so ashamed, and as a result I won't let people come in. It has been going on like this now for quite a while. I try to blame my brother's death on it, because I freaked out three weeks after he died (he died from alcoholism at age 34), I tried to have a large crowd come to my house on Thanksgiving. I made two turkeys, and a duck, and all the trimmings. I was exhausted emotionally and physically, and when MaryE. asked me to say a blessing, I burst into tears, ran out of the house, and I don't remember entertaining much after that. That was nine years ago.
That's ridiculous, but I feel stuck. I'm just going to have to take baby steps, and try to change, afterall in so many ways my life is so much better, I love my job, I have 13 years in recovery, I lost 40lbs this year, and my diabetes went into remission pretty much(though I'm gaining now, about 10 lbs back, YIKE, what am I d0ing?) It's vacation time, one day at a time...more to be revealed...life is good...sometimes life hurts...think about the good things.
posted by Wynell at 11:26 PM
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